How I Deal With the Naysayers

I've been out for a bit, having surgery....that's a post that is coming sooner rather than later. Anywho, I'm back to the blog, now. The extreme HIGH cost of getting sick in the US of A made me really appreciate my frugal ways; notice, I said frugal and not cheap. Which brings me to another issue...the naysayers.

There are always those who will criticise us, PFers. We have all heard the taunts, "Oh, live a little", "You can't take it with you", "You only live once", "You could die tomorrow", and on and on.... Like I stated earlier, I never talk about money. I simply set my entertainment and miscellaneous spending plans, buy from Ebay, buy on sale, etc and continue to live my life, thinking no one is the wiser. However, even without me saying a word about my spending habits or being "preachy" to others about their lack of financial planning/priorities, there are always the comments. Case in point, I had family in town visiting. I have a TV that is on it's last leg, and at the time, I was thinking of replacing it. I have since nixed that idea because now I watch most of my TV on the internet. Anyhow, during the visit, I had to hear constant comments about how they know, for sure, that I can afford a new TV and how they couldn't understand why I just don't buy a new one.

At the time, my plan was to save a reasonable sum, watch the sales and discounts, then purchase a TV when the price was right. Upon telling this to my family, they, of course, thought that I was absolutely crazy. According to their reasoning, if I have enough money remaining once my bills are paid, why not go out and by the latest and greatest TV; forget the fact that I don't really watch TV anymore. Everyone has a TV in their home and flatscreens are the only way to go! I basically told them I would purchase a TV when I had saved the money and had to kindly ask them to not bring it up again.

I can never comprehend how people DON'T "get it". If every financially responsible person ran out and made every purchase on a whimp they would be neither financially responsible or have an emergency fund. My method for dealing with the naysayers is to keep my personal business personal, while I allow them to live how they choose and request,kindly, that they allow me to live as I choose. Luckily, I don't have to deal with such inquisitions from friends.


  1. Everyday Tips said...
    Oh my gosh, you are spot-on in this post. If I hear 'you could die tomorrow' one more time, I am going to cry. Why do people even care? It isn't like I put my nose in over every dumb purchase others make, no matter how much I may want to. I am convinced people make these comments because they want to justify their own purchases. If you spend willy-nilly, then there isn't a 'higher standard' for them to compare themselves to. Your spending makes them feel better about their spending. Your lack of spending makes them feel bad about their spending.
    Divine and Debt Free said...
    I agree! Im so tired of hearing that statement. I have a 19" tv my ex boyfriend gave me and it works perfect!! I could go out and buy a new one but I don't even watch tv like that and if I did I would turn into a moose from watching it to much lol.

    I was at the book store and this guy was bragging (the sales man mind you) how he went into best buy to pay cash for a tv and he came out with a 55" 3 year same as cash tv deal. He said I had the money set for a certain tv but when I found out about the same as cash deal I had to do it!

    It took every calm bone in my body not to say are you stupid? you work at the BOOK STORE DUDE!!! I remained calm... I remember I was there once too so all i can do now is shake my head and keep it moving.
    Anonymous said...
    Wow! I am even more impressed with your commitment to being frugal now that I know what you're up against! I guess there are some advantages to being raised by penny-pinchers and spending one's entire adult life surrounded by starving musicians!

    But it brings up a rather ominous question... why do people think like that? I don't believe that humans are inherently stupid, so it must be that everybody's been brainwashed by the giant marketing machine, which is a frightening thought indeed. If people can be brainwashed into thinking that they "should" go buy the latest thing just because... what else can they be brainwashed to do?

    OK - true confessions here. I bought a new TV last summer. The old one had a big blob growing in the corner of the screen. But I got a steal of a deal and I LOVE being able to watch movies at home (Netflix Rocks and it's CHEAP!) But the ironic part is that it was actually the new TV and the accompanying DVR that finally convinced me to get rid of my cable service. Crazy... I know! Here's the whole sordid tale in case you want to be amused:

    Hope you are recovering from your surgery.

    Yours in Frugal Green-ness,
    Rebecca The Greeniac
    Young Mogul said...
    Thanks for the comments. This is why I love this online community because in a lot of ways we are outcast. I agree sooo much about having to restrain myself from asking people are they brain dead.

    I am recovering fine from surgery--a simple procedure, thyroidectomy.
    L.A. Daze said...
    While i'm definitely not the best saver, and not a PF blogger, I would never ask somebody why they won't buy a new/better version of what they already have. Unless I see a friend wearing yoga pants with holes or something.
    Anonymous said...
    Hope you are recovery well from your surgery!

    I hear you on other people telling me to "live a little." The thing is, I am living, and I am living happily - right now.

    It seems that to some people, if you can afford it, you must be crazy not to buy it. For some people, like yourself and I, we ask ourselves a few more questions. Such as, do we really need it, and how can we save for it while not dipping into our emergency fund (or other funds).

    - Aspiring Minimalist (I can't seem to log in via OpenID)
    Willow said...
    I've seen your comments on Sunny's blog and came over to check out yours and have enjoyed reading your posts.

    TV? We bought our first TV last year. Every other TV we've ever had was a hand me down.

    Naysayers? I guess there are some around in my life, but most people don't stick their noses in or are at least reasonably responsible themselves. Oh, our policy is not to lend money. If we feel we should, we GIVE it (although that doesn't happen much). Makes life easier for us and we resent the request or lack of repayment less.
    Anonymous said...
    Wow..I cant tell you how many times I hear the same things from friends. The TV in my bedroom went out and I decided to wait til the right sale to buy another. But I have heard time and time again.."you have the money" why wait. GREAT post :)
    Annie said...
    I SO know the feeling! After I gave my television away cause we never used it I was deluged with offers of televisions from people actually offended that I had gotten rid of something that we never used!

    Go figure! Glad you stuck to your guns!
    Jenn in Michigan said...
    This is so true. Yes, I could die tomorrow, but I could also live to be 102. I need to plan on 102, because I don't want to be that poor old lady living on $800 a month social security and eating cat food.

    Unlike my grandmother (who lives off SS), I don't have 5 daughters and 14 grandchildren to make sure I have a place to live and food to eat.

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